The Aussie Traveler Cliché

Job hunting sucks.

Having to leave my job that I had to be able to go home for Christmas, I was stuck with the horribly annoying task of having to find a new job upon my return to London.

So it was only natural for me to then partake in the great Australian tradition of pub work.

I applied to work at a local pub that I had never stepped stepped into - I was a shoe-in.

What a surprise when my phone rang a couple of days later, asking me to come in for a trial.

I have never worked in a pub before.  I have however, spent a great deal of my life drinking in them, so with no confidence what so ever, and a killer hangover from all the cheap wine I had consumed the night before, #yolo, I walked in and hoped for the best.

I figured I wasn't off to the best start when I almost fell down the stairs to the cellar to leave my stuff.  Not an exaggeration by the way.  I have a habit of falling down the stairs, but i'll save that gem of a story for another time.

So once I got back up to the bar, I let the guy know the great news. 

I KNOW NOTHING!

The poor guy tried to explain everything to me.  But with the rugby playing, the pub was loud and busy, so I was kind of left to get on with it.

"Can I get an an Amstel with a top"

"Can I get a Fosters with lime"

"1 cappuccino please"

Oh My God!

So I quickly learnt that any time someone orders something with a top, it means add lemonade.

Add lime cordial to the fosters, not an actual lime!

And anyone who orders coffee in a bar can go to hell!

I spent an awful lot of my trial not knowing what to do.  How to pour a pint correctly.  And for the love of God, what glass do I use.

I did start getting the hang of it.  I totally poured a pint of Guinness like a boss!

I don't know why I didn't clue in that people would be drunk at a pub.  That's where I met Marco.  He was staring at me while I was behind the bar, so I checked that he had been served which he had been.  But then he quickly asked me if I would hang out with him at his house after my shift.

Let me just paint you guys a picture of Marco.  He had long greasy curly hair, round purple tinted sunglasses on- INSIDE - and a sleazy disposition.  Sort yourself out Marco.

So you can understand why I tried to be as nice as I could by making an excuse and walking away.

What I didn't realise was that he was sticking around in the pub and as I finished my trial ( it went alright by the end of it, so we shall have to see) Marco followed me out of the pub and started following me.

So I called Charlotte as we were planning to meet up.  However as I stopped walking, Marco stopped walking.  So there was no way of telling her "Yes I know we are 10 minutes away from each other but I think I am going to get raped" in any code that wouldn't be obvious.

So as I hung up the phone, he started talking to me again.

"What are you doing now"

"What are your plans for tonight"

"I like your hair colour.  Would you say its red?"

"This housemate you are meeting, is she a he or is he a she?"

Thankfully as I got to the station, I saw Charlotte and gave her the OH GOD PLEASE HELP ME eyes.

Marco looked as though he had hit the jackpot now that there was 2 of us.  When Charlotte asked him what his plans were for the night, he replied with "something fun, you girls are going to join me"

Thankfully Charlotte gave us a great excuse about friends coming over so there was no chance of anything "fun" with Marco.  We made a swift get away in the hopes of never having to see him again.

So all in all, I did enjoy working in a pub.  Quite stressful when you don't know what you are doing, but if I get the job, hopefully I can pick it up quickly.  That and try very hard not to become an alcoholic.

Aussie Out

xo