Christmas Boyfriends

Last year I got a Christmas job.

It was going to be my first Christmas away from home and I figured the best way for me to deal with this was to work as much as humanly possible.

Lets go on an adventure back to last year.  I was working 16 hour days, 6 or 7 days a week.  Trying and very often failing to function of very little sleep.

Then one day out of the blue, I was working in a booth by myself minding my own business when a security guard walked past me.  He smiled as he sung along to one of the many Christmas songs that are played on repeat throughout the day.

A couple of hours later I was joined by another person and this security guard, (lets call him 95.. because thats what his number was, and what I still refer to him as) he thought it would be a funny thing to try and scare me.  So he snuck up next to my booth and slammed his fists on my window.  Scaring the bejeus out of me... ACHIEVED!

He eventually said sorry and kissed me on the hand as a token gesture.  Then the flirting began.

I've been told before that I am oblivious to men flirting with me, but with him it was a no brainer.

Blowing kisses, flirty smiles and always trying to make time to come and talk to me.  It was exactly what I needed to get my mind off being homesick and it also encouraged me to get out of bed after only having 4 or 5 hours of sleep.

Christmas Eve was the high point.  He asked me to meet him after work and with the hopes of a Christmas kiss I went.

He seemed shocked that I actually showed up.  We exchanged details and saliva (boo yeah) and he walked me out of work trying to convince me to go to the pub for a drink.  As I had friends waiting and I am not one of those girls that ditches her friends for a guy, I informed him that we would meet up another time.

Later that night he was messaging me and phoning me.  All the right signs were there.

Fast forward to New Years Eve.  He promised me he would come and see me and chat and keep me company.  He never showed.  I was pretty sure that my work Christmas boyfriend had dumped me!

Throughout the year he would send me random messages, and would make drunken phone calls which included all the empty promises from the both of us about meeting up for a drink the next time he was in London.

A couple of months ago, I received a message from him asking if I was going to be working at Christmas again.  I told him I was but only until I fly home for Christmas.  He told me that he had no intention of coming back.

I think that really put me at ease.  As harmless as the flirting seemed, when he broke his promise and didn't get in contact with me, it hurt.

I think I had real feelings for this Christmas boyfriend, even though he wasn't very nice to me at New Years and was ( well still is) much younger than I am.

So not seeing him at work was a healthy thing.

Friday was the first day back.  It was like walking into a time capsule.  As my friend Lucinda and I arrived early, we decided to go for a walk around and see if anything was different.  Some rides were in different places, some food stalls have changed, but the most shocking thing was a certain security guard who wasn't meant to be in London was once again in uniform and working.

I felt sick.  I tried to him.  I had no idea what to do.

I managed to get through that shift without him finding me, however the next day I was found.

It was just like the old time.  The flirting, the joking, and all of the butterflies.

I don't fly home for Christmas until late December so the big question is - Do I once again have a Christmas boyfriend?  Do I want to get attached and get my heart broken?

One thing is for sure, the one day this week that I haven't seen him (how dare he have a day off when I don't have one) was not a fun day.

God help me.

Stay tuned for what will be plenty of blogs about heartache and trying to accept being #ForeverAlone

Aussie Out
xo