Two posts in one day? Read on and see why!
I'd like to think that I'm a nice person.... 95% of the time. I'm not perfect. Nobody is. But would I ever turn to the internet with the purpose of trying to make someone else feel bad? Never! Especially without a hilarious meme. Amateurs!
If only the rest of the world could be the same.
I received a comment on a recent post about a guy. The comment has been deleted as the only negativity on my blog will come from me about my sad sad life choices. I'm not going to name names or point fingers, but I am going to go through this comment, and nitpick at it until I get bored.
So here we go... dealing with negativity the Sam way!
"You really don't do yourself any favours, what with your clothes than are covered with dog hair, awful accent, and when you open your mouth you show more gum than a hubba bubba factory. course he's not interested as you are "too awesome" LOL "
Ok kids, lets break it down!
1. My clothes are covered in dog hair
I LOVE dogs. Anybody who knows me, knows that is no secret. I have dog PJS (more than 1 pair actually) and my favourite mug is my jack russell dog mug that I got for Christmas from Charlotte. The main reason I moved into my house that I live in now, was because they had a dog. HAD! This dog moved out back in September last year. So if I am covered with dog hair, I'm annoyed cos I don't even get the fun of playing with and cuddling with any dogs.
Do you have any other animals though Sam? I do. What a silly mistake this person has made. I live with 2 rabbits aswell. They live outside and I have nothing to do with them. Nope not rabbit hair. I've got it! All the hair that all my clothes are apparently covered with must be coming from the 2 cats that I live with. I mean the cats and I have a mutual disliking of each other so we stay out of each others way, but now I'm convinced that while I'm not at home, they plot against me by opening my door and rubbing themselves against all my clothes. Charlotte, you must have words with your cats and tell them not to do this anymore. It makes strangers on the internet upset. Thanks :)
NEXT
2. My awful accent
Oh how upsetting. I moved to the other side of the world because I love my accent SO much. Jokes. I am well aware by how annoying the Australian accent is, and I shall make no excuses that I don't sound any different to any annoying Aussie. This is why I surround myself with lovely British, Irish and Scottish accents to make up for my lack of lovely sounds that come out of my mouth. But I mean, you missed a great opportunity here. I know you don't know me, but for future insults, I also say some REALLY stupid things with my stupid accent. Ask my friends, they can tell you!
NEXT
3. I have gums
All the better to hold my teeth in my dear. But ok I'll give you this one. Because believe it or not, I have looked at myself in the mirror and know that I have a gummy smile. Not my favourite feature about myself, but beggars can't be choosers now. I would also like to point out that I have tiny teeth (and little hands but hey thats off topic). Doesn't help the gum issue, but it cuts down on the teeth brushing time so who is the real winner here? I do believe its me, and my healthy teeth (says the dentist anyway.)
However, if any representatives from Hubba Bubba would like to talk to me about me doing some ads for them, feel free to contact me - I do love me some Hubba Bubba!
After I told Charlotte about this comment, she was as shocked as I was that 2 very important things weren't brought up.
I'm short! 5'3. That's a pretty easy thing to pick on. And I am also....
GINGER!
But hey if you can find a red head insult that I haven't heard growing up, i'll be impressed.
So well done keyboard warrior, I am now convinced more than ever, that my blog is officially a success! Enjoy your life, cos I really enjoy my gummy, annoying voiced life. Now someone find me dog to cuddle!
Aussie Out
xo
