So I’m really conflicted at the moment.
Before I left Sydney, I was convinced that my future was in England. I would move here, find some amazing job, find the love of my life and live happily ever after. Shock horror, I will soon be unemployed after quitting my job for hating it so much, I am #foreveralone, bonding with cats (shudder) and although I have made some amazing friends, I think that I’ve also left some amazing friends at home.
In making the move, more than once have I thought about packing up my bags and giving up. Being so far away from home is hard sometimes. I guess a part of me thought that I would be mourned and thought of like the dead (or at least an evicted housemate from big brother.)
It made it really hard to see everybody go on with their lives. Yeah I would receive a viber message or a snapchat from family and friends but they got on with it. I guess that made it harder.
Before leaving I had made a promise to my sister that I would come home for Christmas. I wanted 1 cold christmas which I did last year but now with the looming thought of going home approaching, I was conflicted. I haven’t achieved anything here in London.
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| Messages between my sister and I |
I almost wished that I didn’t have to go home so I could get on with it, but still extremely excited to go back and see everybody again (not so excited about the 23 hour flight that awaits me)
So I finally booked my ticket home. And as soon as I booked my tickets I was sad. I had such hopes for London and when I have given it the chance, it hasn’t let me down. I feel like I have let it down. I am constantly making up excuses about having no money or being tired, when I need to remember that not everybody gets this opportunity. So now I am thinking. I have 1 year of my visa left. Of course I will be coming back to London, I’m almost 100% sure my housemate would kill me if I don’t come back, but will it be for 1 more year?
I am in the extremely lucky few, that can get dual citizenship, which would cancel any time limit that I have and to really see what this amazing city has in store for me (other than slowly taking away my accent as a visiting friend has so kindly told me.)
I guess time will tell.
Aussie out
xoxo
OMG I nearly died when I started reading this, I thought this was your 'goodbye London, there's a reason I haven't booked a return flight' post. Bloody hell. Right, next year we're making London amazing for you, so that even if you do go it will have been worth the time here. If we could also make London amazing for me that would be fab, this place is draining the life out of me haha xx
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